Wednesday, February 22, 2012

That one time I had a mental breakdown...

Hello Dolls, hope you are all having a fabulous day so far! A few days ago I shared that last week I unfortunately had a few mental breakdown. Just for the sake of clarrifying, let me define what my own mental breakdown looks like... a few tears, possibly a glass of wine or two, my mom to comfort me, and a few amazing conversations with my best friends. Pretty mild I would say, compared to what others think a mental breakdown might look like.

I usually try not to post too much about my personal life on the blog because I love to use it as an outlet, an outlet of creativity, expression of things I love such as fashion, food, crafts, beauty, books and whatever else I happen to find. However when I thought more about it and what I want my blog to be and what it already was... an expression, meaning how I express myself. A mental breakdown I would most definitely say is expressing myself, perhaps not in the most constructive or postive way but an expression none the less. Therefore I have decided to share my mental breakdown and the thoughts that preceeded it ::drum roll::... where the heck is my life going?

As a newly post college grad who has recently just moved home, this question was particularly lingering in my mind last week. While I am blessed to have a very supportive, fun to be around, loving family and have definitely enjoyed spending more time with them... I also do miss living on my own. I miss cooking my own meals, doing my own grocery shopping, not having to call to say I'm running late or not coming home, and most definitely not having to hear the vacum above my head every sunday morning at 8am.

Another issue I am having, in addtion to struggling with adjusting to moving back home is the daunting task of finding a job and figuring out what exactly I plan to do with the uber narrow degree I have obtained. As discussed before I have a Bachelors of Science in Child Development and Family Relations and more specifically- Child Life. Child Life specialist work in hospitals or alt. settings and help children cope with the hospital/medical environment. This means explainging diagnosis and procedures in terms they understand, creating therpeutic outlets, and overall normalizing the hospital environment for children. While I am absolutely in love with my future career path, I am not in love with how competitive these jobs are and how hard it is to even find openings. Child Life is not a paid service in a hospital, therefore it brings in no money and therefore not something all hospitals have available to children and their families. While I do currently have a job as a Toddler Teacher and can't even begin to put into words how much I love my students and those I work with, it is definitely not something I want to be doing for the rest of my life... or eve possibly the rest of the year.  

Wow I seemed to have just written a novel. Sorry about that everyone but I think that helped in getting everything off my chest! Anyone else relate? Let me know!

Yours truly,
Em

6 comments:

Anna H said...

I have that feeling about once a week. People forget to prepare you for how hard post-grad life is if you don't get the job you want right out of school. But I try to remind myself how lucky I am to have such an amazing family that took me back after I graduated and is taking care of me even now as a adult, when being self sufficient is expected but not necessarily realistic.

Allyson said...

I definitely get that way. Every time I think that I'll be student teaching next semester I get ridiculously excited/terrified! I'm sure you'll find an incredible job soon, and in the meantime, I'm sure you'll have a ball with your toddlers. I love working in day care. Good luck!

Allyson
http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

Sweet, Pink, and Preppy said...

I know EXACTLY how you are feeling right now...I'm also currently living at home and trying to figure out my life before I move in June. My majors - Journalism and English - don't exactly give me a lot of options for jobs so I'm basically freaking out daily about life! I also feel bad about looking for jobs that don't require college degrees (like at the mall) because I don't want my parents to feel like the money they spend on my education went to waste. So stressful!

Eloquently Emily said...

I am so GLAD im not the only one who feels like this! Thanks for all the sweet thoughts, we will all get through it!

Kerry said...

Graduating college is a real slap in the face aint it? we'll get used to it!!!!!

Ashley said...

I'm glad you shared that! I didn't want to share certain things on my blog, but after I was dealing with stuff I found that my blog and my followers were the best things I could have! Good luck with the job search, and dont get discouraged!