This is going to be one of those over sharing semi emotional posts so if your not interested... feel free to ignore.
As many know, last week I had a birthday and turned one year older. I love birthdays and while I had the most amazing time celebrating with my friends and family... I kept thinking about where I am in life. I kept thinking about how everyone says your 20's are the best time of your life and to enjoy them as much as possible. I don't know about anyone else but so far... I haven't found my 20's to be all that great and exciting. Let's examine shall we... you graduate school, possibly move home or start your first job in which you are probably severely underpaid and more poor then you were in college. If your like me, you move somewhere where you know no one, make enough to live paycheck to paycheck and buy yourself things you really can't afford and are forced to live off of bananas ans asparagus the following week. Sounds stellar right?
This week I have been doing a lot of reflecting trying to figure out where exactly I am lacking in life and where I want to improve. Not even just goals and ambitions in life but even simpliar questions like where do I want to live? While I am happy in Richmond, would I be more happy living in North Carolina where a majority of my friends are, would I even have a job in North Carolina, or would I be more happy if I moved back home and saved money while I figure out exactly what it is I want to do? I have been thinking about these questions all week and I have yet to come up with an answer.
If you asked me when I was 15 what I thought I would be doing at my age, I would have told you working, with a boyfriend hopefully soon fiance and working to own a home. This couldn't even be farther from where I am in life right now. I am single, and not a miserable or desperate single, but a single nonetheless, I have a one bedroom apartment, and there are days when I have wine for dinner... probably more often then I would like to admit.
All of this leads me to my ultimate question... what the heck am I doing with my life and what do I want to be doing?
While I have yet to come up with an answer to this question an fully am prepared to leave it answerless for the time being... I have found some helpful resources and wanted to share...
- This article talks about how to survive a quarter life crisis... yes they are real.
- Another article on staying positive during your Mid 20 crisis
- A helpful reminder on why your 20's are awesome
Again I thoroughly apologize for the rambling but I am hoping I am not the only one who feels a bit lost in translation...
Yours truly,
Emily
4 comments:
Good post. I have to say that I think this feeling is natural in your 20s across the board. I am married and have a house but I still feel like I'm not where I thought I'd be career-wise. I have no idea which career path I really want to take. I don't know when my husband and I will feel secure enough for kids. I've had a hard time meeting friends in my city. I think it's just a time of many transitions and that nearly everyone feels like this-- even if they appear to have it all together!
the wicked quarter-life crisis. I think your 20's is a huge transition time, a roller coaster of sorts (and roller coasters are fun, right?!... maybe)
I always hav this feeling that there are 3 big things in life, your location, job/career situation, and relationship situation. I felt my 20's has been a big juggling act and you just can't have all the balls up at the same time!
I may be a little further along in my twenties than you but I have had all of these thoughts...far too often. I really thought by 27 I would have myself more figured out!
Hang in there sweet girl! I know completely how you feel. I'm in my late 20's and after college I moved up to NYC and then down to ATL where I have lived the last 6+ years. Life after college is hard and especially if you get out there and go for your dreams while many are getting married, having kids, etc.
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